Becoming THAT Woman at 30

Many women have an idea of what their 30s will look like. Not me! I have already fallen far behind on my checklist of things to accomplish by age 30. I’m sure you know what list I am referring to. Growing up, I felt like there was a very thin line between my 20s where people would constantly remark that I should “enjoy my 20s” and that I was still “young”, and my 30s where it suddenly seems like a woman is “running out of time” and her biological clock begins ticking like a time bomb. It’s like we are expected to bloom in maturity by the time the clock strikes midnight on our 30^th birthday. There has always been a constant pressure on women following the most fundamental decade of life. At age 30 a woman is expected to already have a jumpstart on her career, find a partner, get married, have children, and travel the world.

The impact of turning 30 is something I am still coming to terms with. I keep mentally calculating the things I am supposed to accomplish as an ‘adult’ without forcing guilt for slacking. This mentality, influenced by social narratives that have been in place for so long about where and who I should be by this point in my life, was a hard one to break. Whilst googling advice on how to overcome the psychology of 30,  I stumbled on a poem that changed my perspective in the best possible way. The List, originally penned by Glamour columnist, Pamela Redmond Satran, is a viral sensation for women as it defines the absolute must-haves and must-knows for adult female happiness. I felt like this was a wonderful blueprint to approaching my 30s and learning to be more comfortable with myself. By no means is this list exhaustive but it surely encourages independence and maturity. (Feel free to also read the book – available on Amazon).

I can now confidently say that a woman’s  30^th birthday is a milestone, not a death warrant. By the time you turn 30, you will recognize your inner circle and value your personal time and company. It is completely normal to do the routine self-check but what we should avoid is the constant measuring of ourselves to what society considers the norm for women our age. It’s ok if your empire is not completely built by 30. Who cares? The most important thing is to focus on your journey, count your blessings, and never compare yourself to other women who you feel might be “ahead of you”.

Don’t fall victim to the pre-30 crisis. Embrace the wisdom that comes with this leg of the journey. Tune out the fertility noise and the pressure of finding a spouse. Use this time to work on your confidence and self-awareness as you reorganize priorities. Remember that there are no set expectations for what your 30s should look like. Allow yourself to blossom and use this time to approach the many possibilities life has to offer you. Become THAT woman at 30!