Have you ever had that moment where you’re standing in front of your wardrobe, like an hour before an event, in complete distress because you didn’t know what to wear? Or is it just me?

Finding and refining my personal style has always been a struggle for me. I always feel like I am never up to date with the latest fashion, and I can never piece together the perfect outfit whenever I have an event. To be honest my wardrobe looks like a warzone consisting mainly of work and church outfits – lacking immensely in the casual bourgeoise attire category. Part of the problem stemmed from not knowing where to shop and my budget. I would look at the television or internet posts with women rocking the latest trends and wonder if this look would “fit me”. I would go as far as adding similar items to my online cart but never checking out – succumbing to the minor insecurities that it may not look the same way on me. Growing up as a conservative, I constantly battle with the extremes – looks that may be too revealing or old-fashioned.

We live in a world where most women invest heavily in creativity, attention to detail, artistry, and innovation that defines fashion. For the rest of us who are still perfecting the art, our self-confidence often takes a hit from the pressure of not being able to keep up. Fashion influencers have taken it up quite a notch over the past few years. A quick google search will yield thousands of blog posts on almost any fashion topic including building your wardrobe, how to shop smart, finding accessories, mixing-and-matching, etc. To be honest, it can be a tad bit overwhelming.

As much as I read and watch YouTube hauls, I’ll admit that I am still not massively clothes confident. Back in the day, I would blame my student budget for not having the fanciest items in my closet (although I often wondered how everyone else seemed to make it work). Now although I feel like I have no excuse for being mediocre when it comes to dressing up, I still call my sister or best friend to help me decide on outfits for special events.

I recently had this exact conversation with my friend, Saryta who is now a model. Coincidentally, she wasn’t always confident in her personal style either – aka she was just like me and most of you reading this article. “I am very petite,” she said, “and I struggled with self-acceptance and learning how to dress appropriately for my size. Practicing body positivity required daily conscious effort and it took a while before I accepted my physique as beautiful.”

Saryta shared her story with me about how she began modeling in 2011 following encouragement from two of her good friends. As much as she was happy with her physique, she admitted to being skeptical about standing in front of the camera for the world to see. Finally, she decided to step up to the challenge and started with the ‘Teens in Style’ runway event then progressed to several private photoshoots. Not long after, she began traveling to different countries to work with various designers and photographers. Modeling helped her to cultivate a bold and fearless approach to her personal style which was also heavily influenced by her mother and African background. Now modeling is something she truly enjoys and has become one of her main hobbies.

Of course, I asked for her fashion advice and what she said will forever remain with me. “There is no one-size-fits-all formula when it comes to finding your personal style.” The most important thing is learning to dress appropriately for your body type and finding your own inspiration. It’s ok to ask for advice from fashion-forward friends however take that with a grain of salt especially if it constantly makes you question your body and compare yourself to others (which is unhealthy). It helps to find a model with a similar body type when shopping however be mindful that you absolutely do not need to keep up with all the latest trends. Consider your lifestyle and your budget and above all, be authentic!

Now I may never become a model like my friend, Saryta but I am definitely motivated to focus on myself more and not worry about what other women are wearing. I have accepted the fact that although I am not fashion-savvy, I can be comfortable with my personal style – which I’m still working on by the way. The saying “stay true to you” now holds new meaning to me. So ladies, let’s reverse using fashion to feel empowered and instead use our personal style as an opportunity to show off our best self!