On September 28th, 2012, a propane tank of passion exploded inside of me. I had never in my life desired to talk about much less help other sexual abuse survivors, but all of sudden I was burning to do something to make a difference in the lives of others. Surviving the abuse was one thing but getting help to overcome it was almost impossible. Not any more! I was determined to help men, women, and children affected by sexual abuse somehow in some way.
Most non-profits are born out of pain and the organization I founded is no different. I was 31 years old when all my childhood suffering at the hands of my father would give me the launching pad I needed to create something I wish I would have had. Fighting For Me is a global non-profit organization that provides educational material, access to therapy, professional counseling, and other resources for victims of sexual abuse. I have the awesome privilege of advocating for every brave person who reaches out for help through our website www.fightingforme.org.
My desire to help others is fueled by the pain from my past trauma. At age 19 I married an abusive man who did not allow me to have access to our bank account. He would give me an allowance for gas and food every week, usually $20. As much as I wanted to, I could not afford to see a therapist. Now through Fighting For Me I can use my experience to guide others on their path to recovery and healing. Individuals who are victims of sexual or domestic abuse should not have to worry about the financial responsibility of getting help. For this reason, we partner with universities, other non-profit organizations, and therapists in private practice to offer our clients free services including counseling.
I needed different types of counseling at different times in my life as I healed. When I started treatment, I needed a specialized therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). This therapy mimics the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep while fully awake. This allowed my brain to bring up the memories I was suppressing so I could deal with them, and most importantly, move on from them. Today I can prepare our clients for what they might experience and encourage them to keep going because they are worth fighting for. They are always welcome to come back for more counseling in the future if they, like me, need different types of counseling as they heal.
The most controversial piece of Fighting For Me is also the part I am most proud of. At Fighting For Me, we are all followers of Jesus and take our call to love everyone very seriously; and by “everyone” we also mean the perpetrators of abuse and violence. Let me explain. I believe that if my father had known that he could get help for his obsessive thoughts as a result of his childhood sexual abuse, which later turned into actions, he would have. He did not have access to the resources that we, fortunately, have now. Now through Fighting For Me, I can ensure that our community of children will never have to suffer the unimaginable pain as I did.
Fighting For Me is available to every man, woman, and child who has been affected directly or indirectly by sexual abuse. Maybe you’re the parent of a child who was abused, or you used to babysit a child you found out was abused, or maybe your brother or sister was abused and you would like to know how to support them as you also heal from the pain of their abuse. Know that you have a voice and persons who are willing to advocate for you!
I am thrilled to know that all of my pain now has a purpose. My life is not without trials, but now I have everything I need to get through anything that comes my way including the courage to tell my story. In my book, I tell my story of surviving years of sexual abuse at the hands of my dad and struggling to find my footing in life until a life-changing desire sent me on a journey to find courage, break free from fear, and blaze a trail for myself and others to conquer childhood sexual abuse.
If I can do it, then I know you can too. Keep fighting!