On June 20, 2022, one week after my 38th birthday, I underwent major surgery. The doctors removed 16 fibroids and also my left fallopian tube which was regrettably blocked beyond repair. Yes, you read that right, I said 16! Despite my slim figure, this fragile body housed some unwelcomed unruly tenants, that literally made my life a painful, living hell. According to investigations done during surgery, sadly, I had become the victim of the dreaded chronic systematic disease, known as Endometriosis (a disease that actually cannot be confirmed without surgery, but generates a lot of complications).
The truth is, believe it or not, my entire adulthood has been punctuated and critically impacted by monthly bouts of excruciating pain during my menstrual cycle. I still recall around age 18 when the evil menstrual pains began, my now deceased grandmother would visit another elderly lady her senior, in the village to get some “special bush”, to help ease the pain. It was not long before we realized that the “bush remedy” was no match for my pains, and my life of frequent ambulance rides and visits to the Emergency Room took flight. The pain injections and IV aka “drips” were most welcomed, to take me out of my distress.
I remember when it was soon time for me to travel to Mexico to pursue undergraduate studies, one of my godmothers expressed concern, as to whether I would be able to manage, given I had recently fallen ill at church during my cycle and again had to be rushed to the hospital. However, as God would have it, I survived a little over 4 years in Mexico and graduated with flying colors, despite having to visit the Emergency room and having to leave classes prematurely in pain and tears, on occasion.
Despite the challenges, I pressed on and later moved to England to pursue postgraduate studies. While there it appeared the intensity of the pains began to increase and after vomiting profusely during my cycle, while in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, I was rushed to the Emergency Room by ambulance. I can vividly recall the doctor after the assessment concluding, “You are just 1 in every 100,000 people in the world who experience really severe pains and nausea during your cycle.” He then prescribed the use of Co-codamol.
Upon return to St.Kitts, after visiting a gynecologist, as my trouble continued to raise its ugly head, I was diagnosed with “primary dysmenorrhea”. This is simply defined as severe cramps and pelvic pain associated with one’s menstrual cycle, but not due to a specific condition.
A few years later, as the pains continued to wreak havoc in my life, I was diagnosed with “seedling fibroids”. Fibroids that were essentially too small in size to warrant an immediate surgical intervention, but certainly large enough to increase the intensity and severity of the pains, and my frequency of visits to the Emergency Room.
I have been rushed to the Emergency Room at the general hospital too numerous times to mention, screaming, whaling, and bawling like a crazy person, desperately begging for my usual drug cocktail of Voltaren, Buscopan, Gravol injections, and at times Tramadol to obtain relief (my body has sadly never really found much favor with oral tablets for menstrual strife). If my buttocks could talk, they will probably say, “This butt has received an excess of the allotted number of injections.”
I became such a regular at the Emergency Room, so much so that I was known by all the staff, regardless of whether they were Kittitian, Cuban, or Filipino. I remember being told once, I was one of three citizens who pretty much visited on nearly a monthly basis to be stabilized. There have been nurses who have even come to my bedside and prayed as they prepared to leave, once their shifts ended. Admittedly, the only time I have ever been admitted to the JNF hospital, was as a result of my menstrual cycle. I wholeheartedly thank ALL the staff at the JNF hospital for assisting me over the years. You have helped to keep me afloat. You are appreciated!
In recent years, I started suffering pains not only in the usual places like my abdomen and back but in the right side of my head and in my right leg, and of course, vomiting remained a staple of the monthly episodes. And yup, I have had head scans, Ultrasounds and have visited various doctors.
The horrors of my menstrual cycle over the years have caused me to miss many important events and celebrations, and have even caused me to be rushed to the Emergency Room, while abroad on a work assignment, as well as having to prematurely leave meetings and my classes at Diplomatic Academy overseas.
My menstrual cycle episodes have even helped to fuel weird speculations about me. I remember a neighbor telling someone once, they thought I was being abused, little did they know I was screaming in agony, because sometimes that’s all I can do scream, to the top of my lungs, cry out to God and ask for deliverance from the pain at times. Similarly, a colleague recently remarked that I frequented the restroom and insisted I must be pregnant, and even started calculating when my husband was in and out of town. Yup, humans are brazen like that.
Sadly, in recent months what were once described as “seedlings”, now began to feel like a huge “fruit bowl of melons” in my abdomen during my cycle. This was coupled with excessive fatigue, extremely heavy bleeding, longer and more frequent periods, large blood clots, mind-blowing pains, vomiting and to add insult to injury, I started suffering weight loss.
Visits to several specialists and the results of several blood tests, MRIs, X-rays, and an HSG, in summary, determined I was anemic, I had 15 fibroids of various concerning sizes, a blocked fallopian tube, and that my uterus was distorted in shape and size, and that surgery was absolutely necessary to remedy my deteriorating health situation.
My first week of recovery has been extremely painful. People will say, you have passed the worst because you woke up from the surgery, but the pains I have experienced this week have been immense and have pushed me to tears and screams. I was never aware that gas pains after surgery can hurt so much. They actually hurt more than the incision. I also suffered a bit of vomiting, as well as low potassium post-surgery, and had to have X-rays done to ascertain all was well, so I remained longer in the hospital than doctors initially anticipated.
Then there are random emotions that will overwhelm you, just because you are human, and bawling and singing sure help with that, at least for me. Thankfully, I am now starting to see the light ahead of this long journey of recovery and I give God all the praise, honor, and glory. It has not been easy, but “I will be content, in every circumstance, because Jireh, you are enough!”
You may be probably reading this and wondering, “How has Sonia managed to be so positive and optimistic throughout all these years of challenges?” My simple answer is, “I believe life is how you face it, and I decided a long time ago, to face it with a smile and with optimism.”
So, the next time you hear a young woman say she is on her “period” and she is in pain, or unable to execute a task, please remember we were all created differently. Actually, for some it’s not just “another period” and they just have “a low pain tolerance”, as I was once told. A menstrual cycle for some women actually feels like the fight for their lives, and some actually need those two-day absences from work, without a certified doctor’s paper, to just face the ordeal and recharge. Honestly, sometimes on even the 7th day, I am still a shell version of the true Sonia Boddie-Thompson brand, which most have grown to love. The lingering aches from the pain are also super debilitating. This is my story! I own it and share it because I have lived it.
Additionally, it is important to highlight that studies have concluded that black women are more likely to develop fibroids and by age 50, 80 percent of them will probably get them. Also, endometriosis is becoming increasingly common, but it is difficult to diagnose, doctors still do not know definitively what causes it, and there is no cure for it. So let us remember to be our sister’s keeper, the struggle is real!
Kudos to my husband who has continued to be my tower of unwavering love and support. You are the real MVP! To my family, close friends, and Methodists, thank you, thank you, for the outpouring of encouragement, well-wishes, and prayers. Thanks to all the medical teams who collaborated in exceptional fashion, to improve my quality of health. I salute you! Thank you in advance to all who would read this and offer a kind word or prayer.
To God be the Glory for the things he hath done!
Blessings on your journey, whatever that path may look like.
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